after aja monet
there is the spark and there is the flame
voices running to side with one another
the chorus huddled together in circular time
collecting bits of earth, leaves, twigs, fallen branches
as keepsakes upon the altar of poetry's ancestors
light a candle, whisper a prayer, draw a circle
return your body to the earth and fly with your spirit
to shine, to expand, to discern, to hold on, to let go
feeling the loose sands of time part with the holding on
what is there to do? loosen your fingers
watch these sands escape your grasp, stop grasping
watching memories fade from the green screen of mind
seeing breath expand and recede, sands collected and carried away
collecting water, listening to water, praying awash with the blessing of water
—water conquers rock, water prevails over all of earth in due time
watching the breath, watching vision become darkness
closing the eyes and looking within, floating, flying
you have only your hands, what's in front of you dissipates
the breath, o the breath, that tight rope of dusk and dawn
that holy signifier of giving & receiving
that gift given from beyond the senses
—to expand and retract, to give and receive
an opening to, an opening of, a vastness unto life and living
i remember laying in bed, staring at the ceiling fan
extending moments of nearness, of warmth, of home
next to her, before we fell out of togetherness
of making meaning, of making memories; memory refuses to give up
remnants of warmth, of inspiration, of the heart's expansion
droplets of dew, water pouring from a high place to collect in a low place
cool rivulets of remembering, hand into hand, body to body, laughter to laughter
sex to sex, eyes to eyes. then the falling out, then the falling from
then the vast expanse of the present moment, going without
ensconced by darkness, swimming in blankness, until singular, until alone
then moving from, moving on from, moving out of
with imprints of nearness, warmth, belonging
refusing to let the bitter aftertaste paint the entire picture
yet continuing to drink from the elixir of memory
rising and falling, lifting and letting go
seeking forward and remembering nearness, warmth, home
i remember falling asleep under water, body become blank
become buoyant, strain to surface, bubbles moving through depths
breath becoming water, breath becoming enclosed
darkness surrounding awareness
awareness becomes then, becomes ago, becomes farther, becomes distance
knowing there are rivers who hold your hand, rivers who stop to listen
rivers who continue the song:
i remember walking beside those rivers
seeing many rivers within one river
talking nest, talking wing
talking mouth and moan and sex and sweat
from up high to down below, from bend without break
from expanse and vastness, i remember floating upon the surface
i remember looking up at stars, twinkle, glimmer
speech as moving closer, speech as acknowledgement of nearness
speech as bond and unifying measure, speech as song
speech as offering to silence, gift to expand thought and thinking mind
thought as paintbrush, thought as a coloring
thinking as a coloring of silence, stillness
singing green and gold, blue and green, red and white
singing black, turquoise
singing brown and red, purple and orange
singing this body of water, singing any body of water, all bodies of water
tapping to the rhythm, fine tuning coordinates, awash in color, sound, motion
shaking and glimmering light, to and from the self, to and from the breath
self who distills, self who holds, self who consoles, self who wonders
self who pries, prods, pokes, cajoles
self who lets go, self who astonished, self who bewildered
self who laughs, smiles, cries
self who speaks and listens
peels tears from cheekbone and drops tears into oceans, rivers, lakes, puddles
tattoos tears on rock and earth and dirt and brick
paints laughter upon cloud and horizon and opening air
to love is to care, is to move near, acknowledge a nearness
is to listen, is to give, is to revere
a reverence for life, a reverence for the gift of life
in myriad forms, shapes, concepts, expressions
—brother tree and sister tree, brother finch and sister finch
my family of hawk, owl, eagle and dove
my family of coyote, squirrel, muskrat and wolf
my family of ant and grass hopper and mantis
living, breathing motion-filled living family
my family are those blessed with motion, my relatives are motion-filled and vibrant with life
brother mesquite sways with wind, leaves tickle naked air, seeds plop and drop and spread across red written earth
o travelers upon the path, does brother tree yield forever unto the very end?
is yielding like the Tao the ultimate power of brother tree?
i see sister dove expand chest and open song, extend song to any and all vicinities
i see my song in dove song, i see dove song in all song
the generosity and essence of song, the drawing near, expansion and contraction
all expression of motion and stillness, all imbued with spirit
all my relatives imbued with an essence, an energy
a propensity towards motion, catalyzed by...BREATH
catalyzed by spirit, the spirit of life, intertwined
with all shapes, forms, concepts, expressions
intertwined with all languages. not every language is spoken:
do you ever sit with yourself and greet and welcome all that surrounds you?
into yourself, into being, into non-being, into thinking, into non-thinking, into...BREATH
yourself being much more than socialization, much more than a role in the economy
much more than expense report or amount owed or title with the company
much more than things, much more than acquiring, buying, selling and ownership
much more than movement of syllables, much more than exertion of words
yourself being much more than facade of "i" and "me" and "mine"
what happens when we are able to expand understanding, awareness?
are poets forever the expanders of the human imagination?
do we ever really know what we are? how can we move beyond what we know?
i await by the deserted river for an answer
answers come in myriad shapes, forms, concepts and expressions
answers come in monsoon, in heat, in wind and thunder rolls
answers come in the blue fading sun and the violet shaded moon
answers come in javalina and cicada and mesquite languages
answers come in quiet whispers of heart beating, in human acknowledgement of human presence
i await an answer, knowing we are together the sharp edges of smoke climbing sudden, momentary openings in the air
